So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
