If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
