My cat gives me a boner
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
