And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
