i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
