I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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