I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm always down for nudity.
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