We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
