If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
