Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
