I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
