I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i've created a new STD.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
