just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
