3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
