I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
