I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
