there was a trapeze. enough said
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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