you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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