Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
