are you still at the devil's house?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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