She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize