is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
