Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
wow bdsm is so cute
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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