Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
well you can't waste a boner
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
