I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
