so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
