I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
