We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
