They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
