I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sorry about my life...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize