I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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