If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
