the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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