Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think my vagina is haunted
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
