Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
