I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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