No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
