There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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