I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have demons in me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
