What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
