Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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