I think my vagina is haunted
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Randomize
