So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
