Acid is not a monday night drug
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize