Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
