Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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