There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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