Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
