dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
