I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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