Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize