Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
