Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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