gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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