I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
