She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
