the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
