Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
