I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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