it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
