The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
