I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
3 2 1 whiskey
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
