i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So squirting runs in the family.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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