I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
