we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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