We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
