He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
