No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
