To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize