Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
is this the sara with the beer cane?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
